It is time to relieve myself by releasing the bad ideas from my brain... but also my heart, bros. Here are a few of the bad ideas that came to me today by divine insolpulation. Eating a lot of jello before a pillow fight. Inventing a form of cleansing one's soul without using hands or tater stamps. Not using really fun toilet paper after deficating. Pronouncing words oddly. Going to the gym to contemplate the philosophy of Freedom. Eating a taco without meat after reading an interesting book. Daring Satan to fight like a man next time. Putting on a loud music track while blanching summer sweet corn. Building a beaver trap out of plastic spoons and not warning my brothers. E-mailing the neighbors about propper waste management and shutting down the Hug Factory. Jiggling the metaphoric handle on the toilet of life. Greasing up a turtle without a legal contract. Sending pics of my new shoes to a rude gardener who doesn't appreciate shit. Painting all the buttons on my shirts and pants before proving the existence of God. Cutting all the wires except the green one which would have prevented my elbows from being dislocated. Running away from a giant black bird without documentation. Participating in luxory programs and ditching my shuffleboard commitments. Complimenting the Lord on the glorious lizard fight I witnessed. And finally... not rescuing my friends from the robots of the future and whispering doubt into their earballs.
iTouched
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